My 2-year anniversary is July 16, 2016. Over the course of the years, there have been a lot of ups, downs, lessons and changes. Last year, I wrote a post about love. My theme for this year: patience, communication, and respect.
For better or worse is what they say; not many people fully think about the worse part.
It’s more like for better and okay times. Growing up in an environment where either no one married or no one stayed married, it tends to get hard. God puts you together to become one. That’s why it’s important to tough it out with the one that God has placed you with, Here are my three tips.
Patience is hard especially with two people that are both of the fire sign (Astrology).
My travel experiences allowed me to know the difference between being patient and impatient. I thought I was a patient person in general; once I got married, I saw that I had a long way to go. The hard part is when your patience is being tested by someone who knows your buttons and weaknesses and sometimes intentionally pushes them. Leadership skills, abilities, and experience may allow me to be more patient but that’s not to say my spouse has any less experience, he is just experienced in a different category. Your love languages are completely different and your love lifestyles are different. You literally have to teach each other how to love you. No one is a mind reader and some don’t read body languages as easily as others. Patience is a virtue.
Communication can be a challenge at times. When both spouses have been used to being alone, doing things alone and fending for themselves for so long, sometimes it feels like there’s no need to communicate, other times we don’t even think about communicating things which happen to be of importance to one another. Language barriers sometimes get in the way too, arguments may come up when all in all, we are both saying the same exact thing, just reworded and misinterpreted. While both people are used to being private, the right kind of talks can cause one or the other to get unnecessarily defensive. It’s all about having the right amount of understanding.
R-e-s-p-e-c-t; Everyone has a different definition of what it means. Throw in cultural and country differences, it’s a big mess of a subject of the topic. The key thing about respect is letting the person be who they are. They didn’t come into the marriage to be changed. Obviously, as time goes on, they will grow on their own time. Allow the things that make you different mesh together to eventually help you to be aligned. Look at the positives more than the negatives, and develop from them.
So, there you have it. My solutions for overcoming those difficult hoops in the marriage journey include prayer and staying true to who you are and what you feel. These tips work when you are traveling with your spouse or significant other as well. It allows both of you to have a smooth travel experience. They have different quirks and traveling experiences just as you do. Some may have never left home, others may have grown up as nomads. There’s a balance for everything and a method to the madness. Unless you have irreconcilable differences, it will work itself out.
What’d I Miss? Do You Have Tips? Leave a comment.
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3 Things I Learned About Marriage | Zaakirah Nayyar